Wednesday, May 29, 2013

30 Days of YOGA -June 2013 edition

Super excited about THIS! DoYouYoga-Facebook posted last week about the 30-day Yoga challenge, and I have jumped on the bandwagon!

Those who have known me long enough know, before child, that I got heavily involved with "do-gooder" work. I helped with charities and got very involved with yoga. I found the person I knew I was inside, and that made me feel VERY GOOD all over. I had purpose and meaning; I wasn't a hostile, drinking, bundle of stress and nerves..... it felt like I was actually living my life, instead of playing the waiting game.

I've posted a few times about wanting to get back to that place.... not only for me now, but for my child. She needs that kind of positive role model in her life, something to show her that there is good out there! I miss that girl that giggled and had good advice to give people. Today, I am more prone to tell you to f*(& off than to hug you. I hate that!!!

This morning, it was cool enough to have the windows open. We have some sketchy people that live within "screaming vicinity", as I like to call it, and a slue of profanity was coming from somewhere close. For the first time, in a VERY LONG time, I did not curse them back. I thought of Camilla, and how I hate knowing that she won't be learning to cuss from my popping off, but from the obscenity she is hearing around our property. I didn't scowl, I simply thought, "bless them, maybe someday they will know happiness". It hit me like a bolt of lightning, and I SAW the shadow of "that girl" on the path in front of me!

I can catch her.... I CAN become "that girl" again! If she's back in my sight, then she wants to become one with me again. That little piece of me that through stress, or life, or whatever happened to me... I am catching up!

My delving back into writing and yoga and art, all of this is something I have been thinking hard on. I've started experimenting with whole foods cooking and healthy eating again. Now I just have to get my soul straight, and my body back in tune. I look in the mirror right now, and I don't recognize "ME". I see a bitter, jaded woman with empty, pale blue eyes.


..... stay tuned



Gigi Henson said...

It's INSANE how I get all geared up for yoga and get hardcore with it, and then I get pregnant! Isn't it funny? ^_^