Tuesday, January 5, 2010

She's just not THAT into you?

Last night, my husband commented on FaceBook..."I think there is someone for everybody."

Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I DO believe in soul mates (hey, I found mine!), and I honestly feel that there is a person out there matched just for you! The thing that I feel people struggle with isn't the concept of there being someone designed "just" for them, but with the fear that there is only ONE person.

The term "soul mate" somehow has become intertwined with there being ONE, and only ONE. With that fear on hand, we set out looking for that one special person, and the blinders are slapped on (usually early in life). Of course, there is the highly debated topic of how important looks are when searching for your "person".

Let's just admit it people, if someone isn't PHYSICALLY attractive, you aren't going to give it a second thought! Would you buy an ugly, BRIGHT, puke green sweater with orange and red polka dots just because the clerk tells you it's comfy?!!? Ummm, NO.....

I can admit that looks DO matter to me. I feel free that I can admit that...I've dated guys that weren't as attractive as others, but those that I found ravishingly HOT....well, I married him! ;) Now, let me throw another piece of the puzzle out there; although I say, think, NAY...I know my husband is hot, I didn't think so in the beginning! I thought he was annoying, skanky and just didn't give him a second thought. So, his personality lured me in....no, he just kept asking for my number, and I finally broke down and gave it to him!
I was actually seeing a different "hot" guy, who ended up being a shallow idiot! So, now let's factor in physical attraction and add a touch of meshing personalities. It's like anything else in life....many facets create a beautiful picture, just as they do a perfect relationship, or a strong skyscraper.....And when Wayne came into my workplace covered in mud and sweat, it just didn't do anything for me! (But he's the nicest, sweetest guy you'll meet!)

Because I wasn't attracted to him at that very moment, I was repelled by the thought of going on a date with him. He came in and asked several times! You want to see what he looked like AFTER he cleaned up though?

SMOKIN' HOT!!!! The first time he picked me up on a date, I KNEW I was in trouble! He made me laugh, he made me giddy, he made me swooooon! The physical attraction made me want to see more of him, made me want to get to know him better. I may be shallow, but I'm still going back to the analogies of buying a car, or a piece of clothing....if it isn't pretty, you won't look twice!

Let's just say it; would you have sex with someone that wasn't attractive? Yes, it sounds shallow, but seriously think about it! If you see someone you think is "ugly" physically, does sex or kissing them EVER run through your mind? NOPE, didn't think so! So, initially, physical takes hold! It may not be most important, but it definitely matters.

Now that I've gone off on that tangent, I'm going to jump back onto the path I originally wandered down; what you may think is petty or "correct" aside...don't close off your heart to being loved! The true message of this post is to keep a clear mind, an open heart, and allow love in!

You can have your "standards"; everyone needs them to stay sane. Don't think because you haven't found someone by the time you're a certain age that you are destined to be alone; love takes its time. If you're closing yourself off though, being cynical or jaded, YOU won't see what's right in front of you. It could be a stinky, mud-covered softball player buying a beer-don't overlook, listen with your heart!



Jim Moreno said...

I may write a similar blog post, but which will be titled "She's just not AT ALL into you!"

To a certain degree, I also believe that there is someone for everyone. My Pisces heart will forever cling onto this wish.

However, this statement carries with it many assumptions: 1) that you'll meet the one in your lifetime, 2) that that someone is alive and on this Earth during relatively the same years that you are, 3) that that someone is mentally & physically looking for you, and what you have to offer, both mentally & physically (if you have anything to offer at all), and 4) that you'll recognize and know if & when you happen to meet that someone.

These reason are why it is such a magnificent event when soulmates meet, and likewise agree (because it is STILL up to choice) to be together. And it is for this reason that I happily observe you and Wayne from a distance. :)

Jacklyn said...

I believe that having a physical attraction helps, however, what really is going to matter is personality and attitude in the end. There has been times where there was an attractive person that I thought was hot but, as soon as I REALLY got to know him he became very "ugly" by his words and attitude. That turned me off completely. There are then guys that at first are not attractive to me but, end up being the most beautiful people. It came down to their attitude and what they had to say. Sometimes, it is right in front of you what you are REALLY looking for.

Anonymous said...

Jim nailed it as usual too, i'm also a pisces btw.