Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I hate being full of emotion!

I blame MOST of my neurotic behavior on the fact that I am TOO full of emotion! While most days are full of happy thoughts and bring joy to the world, today I am sad and hurting beyond description. Guess what the most pathetic part of that is....here I am blogging about it, instead of talking to someone. How sad am I? I feel like I'm burdening the world if I'm sad, so I am sad alone, hiding like a scared child until it passes.

I'm sure it's not healthy behavior, but I don't know any other way to deal with it. Who's going to take time out of their busy day to listen to me cry? I wouldn't dare ask someone to listen to me ramble about my issues; they are MINE after all. Why would I unload drama onto someone else!

I think I just need a big, long, really meaningful hug....that might help. But now that I've said that, someone would hug me just because of its mentioning, and therefore, it's no longer just a meaningful hug. It's something that is expected.....

I've been told my entire life that I am a strong person. For at least 20+ years, I've heard that from friends, family, even strangers who've known me only long enough to derive it from my presence. Guess what? I'm tired of being "strong"! If I'm SO strong, then why am I sitting here pouring my heart out to a possibly blind audience? ...........I just can't stop crying this morning, and it's really starting to get to me.

6 comments:

Genevieve said...

I'm not sure how I came to your page....
maybe it really was just for the hug...
{{{{{BIG.. LONG.. and YES, even meaningful, if only from a stranger in blogland}}}}}

It's okay to cry. I have many of those days myself. For me, humor helps. :)

Have a great rest of the day!!

Gigi Henson said...

Thank you! You have made me smile, and it was very much needed!

Jacklyn said...

BIG HUGS Always! I can relate to those feelings as well at times. I am not saying that mine are worse or whatever, I am saying that I believe that people like us who have had to be "Strong" the majority of their life never really knew when to ALLOW ourselves to have a moment of weakness to feel that we are "normal". We may be strong people but, even our strength that we hold ourselves to can become a weakness without realizing it. So, strength is great but, knowing that we can also have "weak" moments is a good thing. It means we are growing and knowing that we are normal people, just like everyone else, that needs a moment from being strong all the time. Also, ANY time that you need to talk and let it out, I'm here for you. I can help a friend by just being there to just listen, sometimes that's all they need. An ear and a HUG. :)

Gigi Henson said...

WOMAN, I love you! What you've said makes sooo much sense to me; I'm happy that you understand! It's a relief....thank you!

Corey O'Connor said...

Look at your glass half full. There are those who walk among us who can't/don't feel at all. If you think having high levels of emotion is trying, think of those who so dearly want to feel anything.. but are just blank slates.

ps
emotional women
1. Make the best parents
2. Are sexy. You can ask Wayne if you doubt me.

Senor Granto said...

I agree with corey and exercising always works for me.