Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Friends and Memories (2nd attempt)

From the beginning, we all have friends. As children, our friends may be invisible, stuffed, or even furry and 4-legged. As we grow, and become little social butterflies, our views of friendship blossom and extend. Children move into their little groups, and the bonds begin to solidify.

Unfortunately, as children grow into young people, and into adults, we shift again. Someone who may have been your BFF in second grade, may become your worst enemy by the time you're a freshman in high school! If you have the great misfortune that I suffered, you'll move around 500 times. This prevents ANY bonding, and secures the fact that you'll be a social idiot! (trust me, I've been there)

Even at a young age, I felt awkward. I was always taller and had a head full of thick curls down to my bottom. When you are super young though, you make friends with everyone; there's very little judgement at that age. I started out in Franklin Kentucky. I was shy, I remember a teacher telling me I needed to go play with the other children once. It's ok, I had my little group of friends.

My parents moved to Portland Tennessee in 2nd grade, but I still feel like I made friends fairly easily. I was always a little bashful, but with a smile, I'd usually poke my head out of my shell. This is when I met Sonya and Apryl. (Remember The Dark Crystal)

I won't bore you with details, but let's just cover the fact that I moved back and forth from TN and KY several times over the next few years. With the divorce of my parents, I decided that "my shell" was the safest place. No one could take that away from me, no matter how much my poor excuse for a mother made us move! My adventures, over the next few years, took me away from Portland, to Gallatin, to Clarksville, and finally back to Franklin Kentucky.

In order to help break my shyness, my grandmother suggested to my mom that I get into some activities. I was a peewee football cheerleader, and then joined "speech" (which is theatre competition, basically). I felt myself breaking out of that safe shell to be more social. I had friends!!! Even though I hid the fact that I lived in the projects, and that my mother was a drug dealer/addict. I hope I hid it well....I was so ashamed of my clothes, our lack of money, and my mother's awful behavior; I'm shocked that I spoke to anyone at all!

The summer after my 8th grade year, we moved in with my dad. Did you know that it's a very hard move going from 8th grade to becoming a HIGHSCHOOLER!!!?!!! Did you know that feeling is magnified times 1,000,000,000 if you change schools entirely!!!?!!! I was leaving behind friends that I had been able to interact with for a whole 4 years. Man, I was a nervous WRECK.

The good thing was that I had attended Portland schools before, so I was bound to know at least 1 person, right? I walked into that school feeling like the most awkward teen in the world! I was 5'10" and 98 pounds, and probably 10 pounds of that was HAIR....BIG HUGE curls. Thank goodness big hair was "in" during the early 90s. :)

For the most part, people at PHS were nice to me; most of the guys at school weren't as kind. Taunts and rumors were constantly being thrown at me from all directions. I don't know why boys have to be so mean? But that's ok; NO, I wasn't ugly....validation hit when I made money as a model! So, IN YO FACE!!! hehehee

My college phase had me back in my shell; I made very few friends in the beginning. I took 22 hours of classes, 35 hours of work after school, and I kept my head down, for fear of someone noticing me! By my sophomore year, I was more social, mostly with the other artsy kids! I'm very proud to announce that I know 2 awesome musicians ( Ligaya with 3AM and Gordon M ). I'm not sure if there's anyone else that's "famous" per say, but I'm sooo proud of both of these guys for making their dreams come true!

Since college, I feel I've become wiser to what it means to be a friend and have a true friend! They aren't just people you hang out with, go shopping with, bar hop or attend concerts with....a true friend won't bitch at you for not calling for months; they'll be happy to hear your voice when you DO call. A true friend will always make time, even if there's none to be had! You know you have a friend, when they love you enough to listen to you cry at 2 A.M., and don't get pissed that you called/texted them that early. It's true, that saying, FRIENDS are for life; no matter how far away life takes you from them, when you come back, they are always there!

To all of my true friends, thank you, from the top of my unnaturally curly head to the tips of my toes! I love you dearly!!!


Jacklyn said...

Even though we met later on in our lives, I am thankful for our friendship. You came at a time when a friendship was much needed and still is. Through these last 7 years both our families have changed, I look forward to being apart of you, Wayne, and Camilla's life for a long time. I love you all and appreciate your friendship which words cannot describe. Love ya'll!

I'm not weird, I'm unique!!! said...

Jackie, I still believe that you are truly an angel! YOU know you are a part of our family; always will be!!!! We love you dearly ;)

Apryl said...

Girl, you hid all that strife in high school well, I was always a little envious of how self-confident you always seemed! Love ya girly.

Anonymous said...

Beautifully written and tge dark crystal is one of my favorite fims of all time too.