Monday, March 17, 2008

Things that go "Bump" in the night

My strained muscles cannot take excitement! I stayed home Friday because of the pain from my injury, thinking that one day of rest and not moving so much at work might make a difference....

I woke up Saturday morning feeling refreshed, still a little sore, but I told the hubby that I thought things were healing. I asked him to drive me to the store to get groceries because I have a stick-shift and it does still hurt to drive. I also didn't want to lift the bags of groceries and cause myself further injury. All-in-all, we have a pretty uneventful yet nice day. The weather was gorgeous and things were good.

At exactly 230am, I awoke to some strange noise. Thinking it was Dave (our ginormous cat) clawing the carpet somewhere in the house, I (spoke loudly) said, "Dave!!!", as this usually makes him stop and come to bed. Still in a half-awake/half-asleep phase, I continued to hear the noise. As I'm coming to full consciousness, I realized it's more of a scraping/scratching of wood than a clawing of carpet, and I sit up in bed (as quickly as someone with injured ribs/muscles can). I listen and listen....OH MY GOD!!!! Is someone trying to get in the house?!!?

As I tend to over-dramatize everything, I get out of bed and walk into the hallway to listen again....

There is a creature in our hall closet!!!!!!!!!! Living in small, country towns most of my life, I've seen it all. Raccoons, opossums, chipmunks....blah, blah, blah. Nothing creeps me out more than RATS and MICE though. Don't mind them when they're in a pet store, but the creepy little ones than run around in the wild-I C K!!!! I call for Wayne (in a loud-enough-for-him-to-hear, but no-one-else-can voice).

He shoots out of bed and comes into the hallway. I quickly put my hand to my mouth (kinda in that "shhhhh" gesture) and whisper for him to listen. (I promise, what I'm about to tell you is NO exaggeration) The noise that we heard from there in the hallway was so loud, it was creepy...and it did sound like it was coming from our storage closet that leads into the lower attic. "There's something in that closet or in the attic, and it wants into the house!" And that's all I had to say....

Super-hubby jumps into action (and a pair of jeans and long-sleeved shirt). He has a flashlight and his gun before I can even get back to the bedroom, and he's in the closet opening the attic door before I can blink! "Please be careful!"

*all I can envision at this point is a scene from a movie, where a HUGE, fuzzy creature jumps onto a man's face in a demented dance, and all I can do is giggle quietly*

Wayne looks around the attic, but there's nothing. That noise isn't stopping either, and I begin to panic. He runs downstairs and out the back door....then he does it. He calls for me to come outside, throws a flashlight in my face and tells me to shine it on the roof of the house. And there, in the soft glow of a dying flashlight is the BIGGEST raccoon I've seen in my life! It's casually, but diligently tearing the wood siding from our rooftop (where the pitch (I think it's called) meets the second level of our house). Wayne runs across the roof to grab the raccoon (like that's the best idea in the world), but it scurries its fat hinney into the attic! Dammit!!!!!!!!!!

We run back into the house, back to the lower attic, and Wayne begins inspecting. Oh, there's that thought again of the thing clinging to his face! There is no raccoon in the lower attic? Oh, is it in the walls....please no, not that! So Wayne crawls out, looks at me, then the wall, then back at me, and then the little light bulb that you see in cartoons flashes over his head.

He pushes me aside and pulls down those steps that go up into the upper attic. From there, I hear the "AH HA, I've got you now you little bastard!!!" Now, I'm very nervous. "Can't you just shoo it out the hole?", I ask. And he did try, but it wasn't budging. "Honey, I'm going to have to shoot it." *heavy sigh* "Ok, but if you hurt yourself, or blow up the house, I'm going to be very upset!!!", I call back to him. At this point, I sat down in the corner of the hallway and waited for the loud shot to break the silence of the night. And I waited, and waited, and waited.

I stood up and call to Wayne, "Are you ok?", and he says, "I can't do it. I can't shoot it." Which I totally understand, but I'm not sure it was the thought of taking that poor creature's life, cleaning up the mess, or shooting a hole in the wall that stopped him. Either way, it finally decided to crawl back out the hole it had made, and then just disappeared into the night.

It took Super-hubby about an hour and a half to patch the 3ft. by 18" hole that the raccoon had made. I think we finally fell back to sleep around 430am, but all of the excitement of it has made us a little jumpy. Every time we hear a strange noise now, we both look up at the ceiling and listen a little harder. You won't see me throwing apple cores or anything else over our fence for those little brats EVER again. :)


Confessions of an Insomniac said...

Wow! That sounds like an adventure for a children's story minus the gun scene. I am glad Wayne didn't shoot it. He would have to eat whatever he kills. Raccoons are scary creatures. I do not trust anything with claws bigger than my cat!

Confessions of an Insomniac said...

You changed the look of your blog! I like!

Anonymous said...

I live in the suburbs but we get lots of racoons and opossums here for some reason.